Talking to one of my sergeants made me realise how dumb I am. We talked about Chinese history and politics and while I was interested, my knowledge was so lacking it frustrated me. All I could do was sit there and listen, while he talked animatedly. He knew a lot more stuff about Singapore and Malaysian politics (which I had COMPLETE ZERO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT)

I know all that 'you don't need to compare yourself to others be happy with who you are' truism but you don't improve unless you compare or have someone as a reference point. I feel like I'm contradicting myself. I feel so useless

I need to buck up, seriously. Start reading shit like that so I can at least contribute . and I need to learn how to write well as well. I cannot transfer all my incoherent thoughts onto paper how am I gonna survive uni. u___u

On a side note, I realize once I make new friends I become so reliant it scares me. I hate putting all my eggs in one basket because I becomes so helpless when our friendship breaks down. I'm so pathetic.